


Death and All of His Friends

by LoversSpit400



Category: Chicago Med
Genre: Whump, Worried Jay Halstead, halstead brothers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22274233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoversSpit400/pseuds/LoversSpit400
Summary: I completely stole it from Greys Anatomy season 6 finale and adapted it to Med. One of Will's patient's family came looking for him, trying to make justice for one of his mistakes.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 12
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

The hospital was quiet for the first time since Will remembered. Hallways once filled with life were now quiet as the dead of the night, doors were closed and, only a trained hear could hear the small whimpers that were coming from the corners and underneath the beds. 

It has been 15 minutes since the first shot rang through the ED and Clarke - and a particularly young white man with dark hair and sad dead blue eyes - was still walking through the halls looking for the person he came to find. Two weeks ago, he had been in this same hospital when his girlfriend, the love of his life, came looking for help after she overdosed on drugs her doctor gave to her. 

He had watched as she lost herself to the drugs, but he wasn’t there when she lost her kid and then lost her life. Her downfall had started when she came in for help but met Will Halstead instead. He had killed her. 

Now, a blonde nurse was curled up behind a desk, trying to make herself invisible. He could hear her sobbings when he came close. 

“Hi,” He spoke politely, as calm as he could. “Where can I meet Dr. Halstead?” 

The nurse let out a little yell. 

“I-I don’t know.” 

Now they were starting to piss him off, she was the second person he had asked, and none of them seemed to know where Will Halstead was. It was like they were protecting him. So he raised his gun and pointed at her, if this person would protect Will Halstead, she would die like him. Before he could pull the trigger, someone else shouted. 

“ICU!” He turned to see a young male nurse, with tears in his eyes. “Will Halstead was in the ICU with a patient. I can’t tell you which room, but he should be there.” 

So Clarke came closer and thanked the man, before making his way to the elevator. 

When he arrived on the ICU floor, it was empty like every other room. A few people were trying to hide, but thankfully almost every door and walls were made of glass so he could see what through it. He walked into every room and asked people if Will Halstead was there, but they told him he had left. 

Again, he was getting mad. He could see people lying to him so they would protect a monster. How could they? Annoyed, he decided to give the people one last chance, but before he could open his mouth, he heard the voice of the person he was looking for. 

“I am here,” Will Halstead said from behind him. 

***************

Scared wasn’t the correct word to describe Will at that moment. All the cells in his body were yelling for him to run, to go and doesn’t look back, but he knew that this man came looking for him, he knew that people had been shot because of him, so he couldn’t run. He had to face his mistakes. 

He had met Clarke a few weeks ago when he had to call Lynn emergency contact and tell him that she had died. At that moment, he could see something twisting in the man's eyes. Will couldn't bring Lynn back, but he could try and be better to the next person that came looking for help, he thought that he was doing good by that, fixing his mistakes, but apparently, some mistakes follow you around, and you can't just outgrow them. 

The man raised his gun and pointed to his chest at the same that Will put his hands up. Before he went to find Clarke, he had sent Jay a text, hoping the intelligence was coming. He had told his brother where he would be and what he would do. The last text said that he loved his brother. 

Looking at his executioner, he could see the man’s hands were shaking, possibly as much as Will's. But he breathed in, felt the air filling his lungs, and leaving his body, trying to calm down as much as possible.

“I know you are angry,” Will said locking his eyes with Clarke’s. 

“No, you don’t!” Clarke said, he didn’t raise his voice that much, but Will could hear the hurt and the anger coming out of it. “You have no idea!” 

“You’re right! I don’t. I don’t know what you’re feeling right now. But I think that this __ is not you. You are a good man.” 

“You don’t know me. You don’t know the hell you made my life into! I lost everything because of you! I thought… She didn’t deserve it. She came looking for help, and you killed her, and you keep treating people. You still walk through these doors like you do not murder like you deserve to take care of other’s people life,” The more he talked more his hands shook. 

“Ever since I was a kid, ever since I can remember I wanted to be a doctor. I never had other plans, I always wanted to save lives and help people, but I’m only human. I make mistakes, just like everybody. But I try to learn from my mistakes and be better. Lynn was a mistake, is my regret, and I understand that you want the punishment to fit the crime. I do. But I hope you also know that I’m sorry.” 

For a moment Clarke’s eyes changed, and Will could see a flash of light going through them. For a second he let himself think that he had done it, he had stopped this whole insanity. But then he heard a loud noise and he fell back on the floor and felt as his shirt filled in with blood.


	2. Don't worry

Intelligence had been called on the scene about 10 minutes ago. Jay doesn’t remember driving as fast as he did to a scene, they had little to no information about what was going on. They knew that a man had walked into the ED firing and that he was still on the building, SWAT had been called and they were on their way. The evacuation was happening at the moment.

  
Once the cars stopped in front of the hospital, Jay could barely recognize the place. A perimeter had been made and behind the barricades set in place a crowd of journalists, curious people, and worried family members were standing, waiting for some sort of news. The Intelligence team didn't pay them close attention, only a glance was enough to know how much these people were desperate for their help somehow, so they kept walking until they met Trudy and other cops.

  
“Have we identified the defender yet?” Voight said. 

  
“Clarke Smith” Trudy said showing them a picture of Clarke, Jay tried to remember every single feature of the man’s face. 

  
“How many victims?” Hailey asked. 

  
“Up to now, we know about 3.” 

  
It took them a while until they set up the plan, gear up, and walk into the hospital. 

  
“Halstead, are you good?” Voight asked looking at his eyes. 

  
“Yes, sarge. I’m good,” Jay asked with as much confidence as he could manage, trying to hide the fact that even the possibility of him not meeting his brother alive makes him want to puke, but the idea of not doing nothing as his brother was in danger was even worse. 

  
As soon as they walked through the door they split into teams and tried to block the scenario in front of them. The ED was unrecognizable, everyone inside had run once Clarke shot the security guard and now only his body remained. 

  
Jay had taken the west wing with three other cops and two SWATs. They slowly walked through the halls, where they found a nurse in shock. She was trembling and her eyes glanced at the wall in front of her. At that moment, Jay felt his phone vibrating on his vest twice, but decided to let it go and check it later. 

  
“Hey, hey, hey.” He said once the woman started to yell when she saw them. “We are police, we are here to help.”

  
She nodded. 

  
“Where did he go?” 

  
“I-ICU…” She whispered and they all had trouble hearing it. 

  
A cop followed her out while Jay and the rest made their way to the ICU floor. It took them a few minutes to get there, they went clearing the floor and that held them back for a while, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Jay wouldn’t admit but he was doing it for Will, hoping to meet him somewhere on these hiding spots. 

  
A shot was heard not far from where they were. They ran towards it and another shot was heard. Jay felt something hurting in his chest, a bad feeling had sunken in his chest and he just knew that something had happened to Will. 

  
Jay stopped in his tracks and almost fell on his face as he saw the scene in front of him. The terrible smell of blood and gunpowder filled the room and invaded Jay’s nose, making him dizzy. Still, he ran as fast as he could when he caught a glimpse of Will’s red hair on the floor. 

  
“50-21 George, I need medical assistance. Civilian down. My brother is down. I repeat, my brother is down.” 

  
He kneeled by his brother’s side and tried to assess what had happened. In front of Will laid Clarke’s dead body, the bastard had the audacity of taking his own life, but Jay couldn’t care less about it. Will’s red scrubs were already filled with blood, so much he couldn’t see where it was coming from. It was almost glued to Will’s skin and made it clear to see how his chest was rising and falling way too fast for it to be normal as he was gasping, trying to get air that wasn’t coming. His eyes were wide and terrified, his gaze fixed on the ceiling above him, unaware of what was happening around him. 

  
“Will. Will, come on. Try and breathe for me, please.” Once Jay’s voice came out Will’s eyes turned to him and Jay grabbed his hand and held it as tight as he could, reassuring him that he was there. “Someone get something to stop this bleeding! Now!” He yelled and something that looked like a t-shirt was given to him.

  
He rolled it and put pressure where he thought the blood was coming from. Will’s gaze was still in him, and he looked at his brother. Their eyes locked and Will gave him a little smile, the terrified look become something warm and almost reassuring. Jay understood that Will was trying to tell him everything was going to be okay, trying to make him feel good but it also told Jay something that he always knew. 

  
Tears escaped his eyes and fell on the fabric that was unsuccessfully trying to keep Will’s blood on his body. 

  
“I love you too. Don’t go, you're gonna be alright. Don’t go.” 

  
Jay heard movement behind him and he watched as Marcel, a new doctor he had barely met, came beside him, followed by Noah Sexton. At that moment it felt like something had pulled Jay out of the water and he was aware of the chaos surrounding him. 

  
The intelligence was behind him, they all had sad eyes and a mournful face towards him. The grunts cough and gasps coming out of Will now were making themselves known and as a cue, his eyes started to close and Jay could see as Will’s mind was filled with darkness. 

  
“Will! Wake up!” He yelled like his brother could hear him. 

  
“He needs surgery.” Marcel turned and faced them all. 

  
“We can block all the streets-” Voight said, his hands already on the radio. 

  
“He won’t make it to another hospital,” Marcel said, and even though Jay knew that already, hearing it by someone else made it all real and worse. “Someone gets me something so I can take him to the OR. Now!” 

  
Ruzek was the first one to move and he ran towards a wheelchair that was in one of the rooms. Jay wanted to move, to be more helpful, but he couldn’t get up from the floor and let go of Will’s hand, in his mind if he did that Will would vanish. 

  
By the time they made it to an empty OR, Will was pale and in and out of consciousness. Jay, Marcel, and Atwater placed him on the table and Marcel cut his shirt off in a hurry, as soon as he was shirtless they all could see the bullet hole on the left side of Will’s chest and the huge amount of blood surrounding it. 

  
“J’y…” Will whispered and Jay quickly held his hand, letting him know he was there. 

  
“I’m here. Don’t go anywhere.” 

  
“Not d’ng.” 

  
“Yeah, you better.” 

  
“I’m gonna scrub in. Jay, you need to leave” Marcel said and ran off the room. 

  
Still, Jay kept staring at Will, pretending he didn’t hear what he was ordered to. Voight came into his field of vision and Jay exhaled deeply. 

  
“You know we need to leave.” Voight put a hand on his shoulder.   
“I-I- He can’t be alone now.” 

  
“Jay, come on.” Now it was Hailey. 

  
The moment he let Will’s hand go he felt like he was leaving a part of him in the OR. He walked out escorted by the two officers and his whole body was yelling that he was missing something that he couldn’t go without. The ache in his chest only grew bigger with every step he took. 


	3. When I need a friend

Fortunately they were able to find an anesthetist willing to come back to the hospital, Maggie came to assist as soon as she heard her friend was the one on the table. So now, it was only them at the OR and Marcel looked at the Will’s bare chest and then to his face, he didn’t want to admit it, but having one of his friend’s lives on his hand made him nervous and every fiber in his body wanted him to scream and wake up from this bad dream. But it wasn’t a bad dream, it was real and he needed to step up. 

“Scalpel” He said after taking a deep breath. 

Maggie handled him to scalpel and he cut a straight line in Will’s chest. 

******* 

Jay sat on the floor with his head hanging low, facing the floor as his hands laid on the back of his neck. His legs were shaking and he couldn’t hide the fact that he was nervous, anxious and on the verge of breaking. Someone was by his side, he thought it was Hailey but he wasn’t sure, whoever it was didn’t try to assure him or touch him and he was already thankful for that. 

He stood there until he felt his hands sticky on his hair, and he realized he never washed Will’s blood off. So he held his head up and took a look at his clothes. There were blood stains on his vest, his shirt and his pants. He felt dirty and disgusting, like he was bathed in his brother’s blood, his own blood. 

In a jump he got up and stumbled his way towards the bathroom, he tried to find one as he strode through the corridors, checking every sign ‘til he found what he thought were the surgeon’s break room. He opened it with way more strength than needed what caused a loud thud, but he couldn’t care less as he saw a shower. 

In a hurry he opened and sat underneath it, feeling the water touch his face and run through his body. Soon his clothes were soaking wet and his vest weighed a ton in his chest, but he wasn’t finding the strength to take it off. He heard footsteps coming from the door. 

“Jay?” Hailey’s voice echoed through the empty room. 

He just stood there and stared at her as he sat in front of him. He saw as her confusion expression became tender but not pitiful. 

“Wanted to see if you were okay.” Her eyes blinked slowly and never left him as she spoke. ‘Til she looked at the floor and then back at him. “Want to take this vest off?” 

Jay nodded and she made her way towards him. 

She was close to him now, so close as she took his vest that he could feel her breath on his skin. Just like him, the water was hitting her face but she didn’t seem to care, as if he was taken off his state of shock he watched her lips and he couldn’t help but lean in closer to her. Her eyes were still locked at his and she didn’t pull back. 

When their lips touched, Jay closed his eyes and let himself flavor the moment. He felt butterflies in his chest, tasted the sweet taste of her lips and the water that fell between them and the beating of her heart. His body was asking for more so he wound his hands into her hair and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. 

Hailey let him and seemed to be enjoying it as much as he was. He felt something melting inside him, the anguish and the pain gave space to something he couldn’t quite put his fingers on yet, but the burning sensation on his chest was new and good. For that little moment the world stopped spinning and all that mattered was Hailey and the intense feeling of love that ran through his body. 

Until she pulled back. She pulled away slowly from him as she opened her eyes and glared at him. 

He opened his mouth to talk but she beat him into it. 

“Jay…” Her voice was shaking and almost apologetic. She opened her mouth again but nothing came out of it. So she closed it and gave him nothing. 

“I…” His brain tried to work again but he was unable to formulate any words. 

“Jay, I understand.” She said as if he did that only because he was hurt and going through a hard time, but that couldn’t be further away from the truth. 

“That is not-” He hoped his faced let her know how wrong she was. 

“Later.” She said in a firm voice. “When your mind is in the right place. Later.” 

And just like that the world was back spinning. The events came back in a tsunami wave towards him, making him throw his head back and rested it against the wall behind him. He stared at the ceiling until he felt something warm in his hand and he saw as Hailey’s fingers intertwined with his and then she sat beside him, but instead of resting her head on the dirty wall she put it on his shoulder. 

“I don’t know what to do if he doesn’t make it.” He said facing forward. 

“You can’t think like that.” 

“Hailey… You saw how much blood was on that floor… You and I both have seen murder scenes with less.” 

She didn’t tell him anything after that and he realized what he had just said. 

“He had always been dad’s favorite and god, sometimes it made me so mad. I would try everything to get dad’s attention but Will was always there, even with the fights, I could feel that what he and dad had was different, something that I would never have.” Jay stopped once his throat started to close. “And I never understood it. I always tried to be a good son, to be responsible and that stuff. I was the one that stood here when mom was dying and Will left for college, but it didn’t matter. For a while I hated Will.” 

There was a heavy silence as Jay’s tears mixed up with the water coming out of the shower. 

“But then he came back and we became brothers again. It took us awhile but we’re brothers again, Hailey. He’s my best friend and I honestly don’t know if I can do this without him.” 

“If he doesn’t make it through, he would’ve wanted for you to be happy. He may be the only blood relatives you have, but he is not the only family you got.” 

Jay let his head fall into Hailey’s head and they stood there for a few more minutes. 


	4. Come back

Time passed and Jay saw Hailey getting up, saying she would try and find them some clean and dry clothes. He turned off the shower, but still stood sitting on the floor, getting lost in his thoughts, alone or so he thought. Adam had appeared out of nowhere and pulled him out of his mind. 

“Hey, man. How are you handling?” 

“As it looks.” 

Adam gave him a small smile that was cut when Hailey came back holding some t-shirt and a pair of jeans. They looked at each other while Hailey looked surprised at Adam’s presence. 

“Hey.” She said with a small smile. “Found it at Will’s locker, I think this will fit.” 

Jay nodded and got up for the first time in a while and picked up the clothes, he watched as Hailey and Adam left the room, giving him some kind of privacy as he left his police gear and clothes behind and put his brother’s clothes. They smelled like him and didn’t fit him quite well, but somehow they were the most comfortable thing he could’ve been wearing at this moment. 

He walked out of the bathroom and made his way back at the front of the OR. Natalie was now standing in front of it, she was pacing back and forth, with normal clothes, tears were rolling down her cheeks as she bit her nails. 

The moment she saw him coming her eyes went wide and she walked as fast as she could towards him and embraced him in a hug. He could feel she was shaking and how her heart was beating so fast it looked like it was going to escape her chest at any moment. 

“Jay… I’m sorry.” She said as she took a step back. 

He only nodded. “Do you know anything yet?” 

“I still wasn’t brave enough to go in.” Her eyes met the floor. 

He nodded and sat on the floor one more time, this time closer to the door than he thought he was allowed, but this was in normal circumstances, now, nothing of this was normal. The whole hospital was shut down and the only thing working was the room behind the wall he was leaning in. The people trying to save his brother’s life. It was all so quiet that if he focused enough he could hear muffled sounds coming out of the room. 

Apparently Natalie could too, ‘cause she was fixed to the door, trying to make out what was happening inside. 

After a while the sounds comings were unmistakable. The continuous tone coming out of the monitor put Jay and Natalie out of their minds and into panic mode. Jay looked at the doctor desperately, getting on his feet and busting through the door like he would be able to help. 

The moment he walked into the door he saw the heart monitor in a flat line, Marcel looked at him for a brief second as someone gave him paddles and he returned his attention back to Will’s chest. Natalie suddenly was by his side and gave him a mask and he understood that he should place it in his face. 

In front of him laid Will, blue sheets covered his whole body, his head was elevated and even through there was some kind of curtain in his chest, he could still see his brother unconscious face and the tube coming out of his mouth. Everyone’s hands were filled with blood and they all couldn’t care less about his presence there, not when the monitor was still making that horrible sound. 

The paddles were put inside Will’s chest and even through every fiber in his body was telling him to look at the other way, his gaze was still fixated in the scene in front of him. 

“Push to 50.” Marcel said and the defibrillator whined. “Clear.” 

There was a thunk and Will moved, but the deafening sound was still coming out of the monitor. 

“EPI is going in” Noah said in a rush and placed a syringe between the paddles. 

“Come on Will” Jay heard himself saying through the organized chaos in front of him. 

“Charge to 50 again.” Marcel ordered and Maggie pressed some button in the machine. “Clear.” 

The sound of Will’s body rising and then falling back on the table busted through Jay’s ears and his despair only increased, he wasn’t thinking straight when he left his position close to the door and afar from the room and moved closer to where it was all happening. He positioned himself at the end of the table, where Will’s head was resting and dared not look at Will’s open heart in front of him. 

“Come on, man! Come back. You can’t leave me here” He pleaded, petting his brother’s hair, trying to make him know that he was there. 

There was still the erratic beeping coming out of the monitor and Will beating out of order, way too fast than any other person’s heart should. 

Marcel looked at him slowly, still holding the paddles and Jay knew what that meant. He looked back at Marcel’s with tears completely covering his eyes, pleading for him not to give up. 

The surgeon shook his head and a knife was put in Jay’s chest and twisted, making him feel the worst pain he ever felt in his life. In a blink it took over his whole body and made him numb, he couldn’t scream, fight, cry or move. All he could do was feel every fiber of his being burning in a agonizing pain. 

The air had vanished from the room as every single person in there held their breaths and stared at the doctor unmoved. 

Suddenly the monitor started to beep in a rhythm. A normal rhythm. The kind Jay had heard so many times, that meant someone was alive, that the heart it was attached to was still functioning. Noah looked at it and exhaled deeply as he said “We’ve got him.”

Everyone did the same, let their breathing come back and silently looked at each other letting their looks say things words could never. 


	5. Awake

The darkness surrounded him and in a moment it all stopped. The pain that consumed his body was gone and time and space vanished; there was nothing around him, silence filled his ears and nothing else. He felt like he was floating. 

In a blink of an eye nothing mattered anymore to him, he couldn’t care less if he closed the window before leaving his place or not, how he needed to pay the next electricity bill or if that noise his car was making needed repair or not. Now everything seemed so little and unimportant he wondered what was the point of it all? 

When he was younger he used to worry about anything and everything. At night he would lie awake thinking about the things he should get done on the next day, he tried to close his eyes and sleep but his mind would remember him of so many things he should get done that his heart always missed a beat and he needed to take a deep breathe. 

At school he wasn’t the smarter, but he liked being the most responsible. He wouldn’t forget homework, during finals it was almost impossible for someone to meet him outside his room. The good grades helped him get into a good university and leave his home. 

Jay, on the other hand, had a quick thought but a short temper. Almost everyday he would pick fights with other kids for the smallest reasons, get called to the principal’s office, suspended or something like that and repeat the circle. He used to talk back at every teacher and get detention any other day of the week, he was almost spelled a few times and god knows why he never were. 

It annoyed Will so much, only 'cause everytime Jay would get in trouble, he would get in trouble as well. At night, their parents would call them at the living room and Will would go the entire way fighting and cursing Jay that would only roll his eyes. Once they arrived, there was a long speech about being responsible and respectful towards adults. Everything Will already knew. 

When Jay said he would enlist it came out as a surprise to everyone. Their father, a vet himself, was completely against it and forbade him of even thinking about it, their mother on the other hand pushed Jay into a hug and asked him to be careful with tears in her eyes. 

At that night Will had a fight with Jay, he wouldn’t admit it but he was scared that his brother wouldn’t come back. So he pushed him away and instead of getting anxious about what he had to do on the other day he would think he Jay had been doing okay. Sometimes he had nightmares about Jay getting shot and coming home in a casket covered in USA’s flag. 

Now, thinking about it all sounded funny. Jay was the tough one, the one that usually had a target on his forehead, but Will had been the one shot in the chest. Maybe he deserved it, maybe not, but nothing could’ve changed what had happened and now it didn’t matter. Right now there was no tomorrow only the darkness. 

Until he heard a loud beep, the sound was cutting through the dark and getting his attention, another beep was heard but Will still couldn’t make it where it was coming from. Then another and another and another. The rhythm kept going and going pulling him out of his thoughts. 

In fact, he couldn’t remember what he was thinking a moment ago but he knew that must have been something. 

Suddenly he felt like he weighed a ton, he could feel all the muscles and bones in his body and an excruciating pain that was coming from his chest and radiating everywhere. There was something in his throat preventing him from breathing and making him gag. He could feel something in his legs too, but didn’t have to energy to think about what it was. 

He tried to open his eyes, but it was all a blur. From a distance, he heard someone saying something. He couldn’t make the words that were being said or who was saying it, still, he could almost point his finger to the person that the voice belonged to. 

He tried to move his hands but not only they were really heavy, there was something blocking further movement. 

Exhaustion caught up to him and he closed his eyes for a moment.

When he opened them again his vision was clear, but the breathing tube was still in place, the pain still ran through his body, and his whole body still felt heavy. His mind now was awake enough to inform him it was probably caused by the pain medication he was in. His eyes searched the whole room and landed on a curled figure sitting on a chair apparently asleep. 

The whole room was dark and he thought if it was ‘cause it was night or if they turned out all the lights for him. 

He tried to make a sound so someone could realize he was breathing by himself now and take this tube out of his throat so at least one little happiness he could have. What he managed was waking up the person in the chair and reveil it as being Jay. 

Jay got up a little disoriented and searched around the room looking for where the noise was coming from and his eyes widened as he saw Will awake. He came closer to the bed and Will. In front of him, his brother looked scared and his eyes begged for something Jay couldn’t understand. 

“Hey man.” Jay couldn’t help the emotion that went with his voice. Not when he saw his brother’s heart stop working in front of him a few hours ago. 

Will tried to say something but the tube was preventing him. 

“I don’t think you can’t take it off right now. Are you in pain?” Will thought about nodding but decided against it. “One blink for eyes, two for no?” 

Will blinked once.

“I’m gonna call a nurse, ok?” 

Will tried to tell Jay that he should stay with him ‘cause he was afraid of something he didn’t know. But Jay was already gone and the room was way too dark for his liking, thankfully he didn’t take too long and soon he was back with a nurse he didn’t know, her scrubs was in a different color than the one they used at MED. He only hoped his confusion was showing over the pain. 

“Hello, Mr. Halstead. It’s nice to see you awake, I’m gonna call the doctor and see if we can extubate you.” He watched her leave, leaving him alone in a room with a worried and nervous Jay. His brother was leaning on the wall beside him, his leg bouncing rhythmically but he didn’t seem to realize he was doing so. They both watched as the nurse left the room. 

Will wanted to say something, scream or do something to let Jay know he wasn’t going to die right now. Whatever happened was in the past and now he was doing fine. 

A doctor Will never saw came in, it was a lady, maybe over her 30s. She was wearing a dark blue scrub, her blonde hair in a ponytail and in her face she was wearing an all too familiar polite smile. Jay head turned when he saw her walk in and she nodded politely at him. 

“Hello, Mr. Halstead I’m Diana and I’ve heard you can get this tube out of you throat already.” She said looking back and forth from him and the monitor beside his bed. Now her head turned and she faced Jay that was in the same place, face almost hidden through the dim light. “His SATs are good, I’m going to extubate.” 

Will couldn’t see Jay’s reaction as he was put in a sitting position. Every cell in his body was yelling out of the pain the movement caused, Diana seemed to noticed and gave him a smile. She guided him through all the steps but it didn’t make it any less awful. 

Once the tube was out he couldn’t help but cough, he coughed so much that he thought his lungs were going to come out and he was sure that his chest had exploded. The pain made him close his eyes and throw his head back. 

“Yeah… I understand. We gonna give you more morphine for the pain. 

By the time he was done he felt like he had been ran over a truck, multiple times. What made him realize he didn’t remember why he was in a hospital room right now, he remembered flashes and someone yelling, Jay saying for him not go anywhere. Now the same affectious brother was keeping his distance from him. His throat was hurt and he still couldn’t speak anything, but he reached his hand, as much as he could, towards Jay. 

Jay seemed to realize that and came closer holding his hand and looking at his eyes with a smile and tears on it. 


	6. In my place

The morning came and with it Marcel appeared at the door, carrying a tablet. Jay and Will were still asleep, Jay had brought his chair closer to the bed and his position looked uncomfortable. The other brother was finally free from the restraints put on his wrists and had already being given a heart-shaped pillow, if not for the tubes coming out of him, he looked like he was resting. 

The cardiac surgeon didn’t let it show, but he was feeling bad for disturbing what looked like a peaceful moment between all the chaos from the last 24 hours. After they were able to bring Will back, Marcel closed him and once they were done a team was already waiting at the door. Carefully, they wheeled him through the hallways and put him on a helicopter to the closest hospital, Jay following every step of the way. 

Eventually Marcel had to leave for the night and take a deep breathe to think about how lucky was that him and Noah had been not far away from the ICU and that they both had decided that instead of running out of the hospital, they would go and see if they could help. If they’ve done it different, Will would be another name on the list of people killed that day. 

So now he knocked on the door louder than he should, hoping to wake up any of the Halsteads. Will opened his eyes first and seemed disoriented, looking around the room, while Jay put on a defensive position, ready to face whoever was coming in, but in the moment he saw Marcel, he let himself relax. 

“Sorry to wake you both. Will, it’s good to see you awake.” He said letting himself into the room. “I already know that last night was a good night, so I think you know what’s coming next.” 

Will let out an exhausted breathe and threw his head back, closing his eyes. Jay looked back from his brother to the doctor, completely lost. 

“What is next?” He asked, his voice confused and raspy from waking up. 

“Well, Will here needs to take short walks two or three times per day to prevent blood clots.” 

“I’m tired.” Will said and his voice sounded like it. 

“With the amount of blood you lost I’m not surprised, but you know you need it.” Marcel tried to reason with him. 

A nurse had already walked in and was waiting for it to start. Jay’s face didn’t hide how unhappy he was with the whole thing, he looked mad at Marcel. Still, in the back of his mind he knew that was for the better and the cop had made himself a promise not to fight with the doctor, not when he was the only reason why Will was still breathing. 

Will looked resigned in front of him. He knew what needed to be done, himself had given the same speech that was being given to him to other people, “It’s for your own good.”; “it will help you heal faster”. But be on the other side wasn’t so simple. So he simply nodded. 

Getting out of bed was worse than Will thought it would be. He had seen patients complaining about it, but it was so much worse than any of them could ever describe and now he felt sorry for each one of them. The pain was horrific, he was feeling nauseous, and had broken into a cold sweat and didn’t even take a step forward. He knew his blood pressure was low, but now it had dropped even lower and he could hear the monitor beeping beside him. 

“What is happening?” Jay worried voice came in but he didn’t have whatever it was needed to face him.

More people walked into the room and as he finally looked up he could see Jay terrified face being pushed away. He wanted to tell them to leave Jay in there, that he wasn’t about to die, but he felt numb as he was laid in bed one more time and was only able to listen as the crowd that surrounded him decide what to do. 

He saw as medicines were pushed in his body and the blackness and the shining dots around his vision seemed to disappear. 

It was needed a few deep breaths and holding the pillow on his chest for him to feel as close as well as possible in that moment, he was so focused on not dying that he barely heard Jay and Marcel arguing. 

“That was necessary? He almost coded!” Jay yelled. 

“Jay, it’s part of recovery, maybe it didn’t go well this time, but-” Marcel seemed extremely calm, considering the situation. 

“There won’t be a next time! This is it! He will walk when he feels like it. When he’s well enough!” 

“That’s not how it works” 

“I don’t have a fancy degree like you guys, but you can’t tell me that this is normal! That this will help him get better!” 

Jay was yelling and pointing towards the bed. Will was finally catching his breath and the room had finally stopped spinning. He could feel the tension in the room as the yelling outside it continued. 

“Stop…” He tried to say but it came out muffled. “Stop. Guys. Stop.” He continued to whisper until Jay paid attention at him and noticed how in distress he was and came running to his bedside. 

“Hey, man. I’m sorry.” Jay quickly apologized and looked at Marcel for help. “I was-” 

“Jay, it happens. I need it.” Will interrupted him. 

His brother rolled his eyes and knew that was a lost cause, he could worry as much as he wanted, but it wouldn’t change the fact that Will was as stubborn as he was and they could keep this fight going and going and going, but it would only take them nowhere. 

“Just take a breath man and we will try again.” Marcel came back into the room and Will could only nod, ordering for his body to cooperate with him. 

The next try went a little better, the pain was less unbearable and when his feet touched the ground he didn’t feel like fainting, but he could still feel the gaze of the medical team that was waiting for him to collapse on the floor. On his right side that was Marcel and on the other that was a nurse, they both supported him as he was sure that we couldn’t make it by himself. 

He gave three steps that lasted for 30 seconds but felt like an eternity. He collapsed on the chair Jay once sat, he wouldn’t admit but his vision was turning black all over again and stars were shining. Just to think about having to do that again made him sick. 

“Are you good, man?” Jay voice came from beside him. 

He nodded and felt unable to speak. 

“Give him a minute.” Marcel said and Jay gaze could’ve killed him in that moment. 

“I’m fine.” Will said looking towards Jay. “I’m fine.” 

They weren’t sure who he was trying to convince but at least now he could speak. Will stood there for a while, sitting and seeing the room from a new angle, Marcel had dismissed himself and left both alone. Jay sat on the bed, facing Will, gazing through him and the machines, trying to see anything unusual. 

“I’m proud of you. I hope you know that.” Jay said. 

“Yeah. I don’t think I will go back to bed through.” Will said with a small smile. 

That was silence between them and Will stared down at his chest, trying to see through the gown for the first time. There was not much he could, most of it was covered in tapes, but every time he breathed he could feel the wires that were holding his chest together. It was an odd feeling, especially when he knew that he had been shot, he had flashes of that, but couldn’t remember anything other than the impact. 

“What happened?” He said to Jay, still looking at his chest. 

“What do you remember?” 

“Not much. Just getting shot.” 

Jay considered if telling Will that the shooter came into the hospital looking for him was the right call, knowing he knew the guilt and the blame he would carry with him if he did so. He remembers how Will only minutes ago were gasping for air on the bed and his heart shaking out of rhythm and how the loud noise from the monitor filled his ears. 

“I found you on the ICU floor. You were bleeding a lot and I tried to stop it, but it didn’t work. I-Voight was on the radio calling for help when Marcel came in and we helped him take you to an OR. I think the bullet was still in an artery or something, he didn’t let me stay much. But that was it. He operated on you and then we brought you here.” 

Will was quiet. 

“I think I knew the shooter…” 

“He was an ex-patient familiar. Guy had problems and had been arrested a few times for assault, we think he snapped.” 

Will nodded. 

“What happened to him?” 

“He killed himself before we could get to him.” Will was still in silence, digesting all the information that had been given to him. “But that is in the past, you need to focus on the future and getting out of here. I hate hospitals, don’t care if it’s as a patient or companion.” 

Will gave him a little laugh and Jay felt the blame and guilt of lying to his brother setting in his stomach. 


	7. The truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back? Back again...  
> I was completely out of ideas for this fic but today I tried a little harder and something came up. So this is not an abandoned fic, it will just take longer to be updated.   
> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos, I really love them all.

Since Will was shot, the hospital has been his home for weeks, and then his house a prison for a month, short walks around the block after two months was the biggest freedom he had. It's safe to say that by the end of it, he was over. 

Will's life surrounded itself on Chigaco MED, it was more than a job for him. He loved to interact with people and to treat them but he hated being treated. Will did not like how Jay hovered over with big and worried eyes. Still, things had been great. 

Now, he was driving on Jay's car, wearing red scrubs, his sneakers, and a coat. It would be just like any other day if he wasn't on the passager seat with his heart pounding on his chest. 

Today was the first day since their life changed forever. A trauma counselor expert had been hired by the board to make sure all the doctors were fit to come back to their jobs. Will prayed to God that he was considered well enough to go back, or he thinks he would lose his mind. 

-Hey, you call me if anything,  _ anything,  _ at all happens. Did you hear me? Jay said when the truck was parked in front of the hospital. 

-I know. 

Will opened the door and walked into the front doors. So many times he walked on this path, crossed these doors, and had a normal day. Will had fallen in love in these halls, learned how to win and to lose. 

For a second, he heard someone yelling. Will turned around to see where the sound came from but he could not identify it. "It's all in your head, Will." 

He obliged his feet to walk forward towards the room where the meeting was going to happen. 

The hospital was empty, only those directly affected by "the events" were asked to come. Will, Maggie, Natalie, Choi, April, Crocket, and Noah. From them all, Will was the only that held a scar across his chest. 

He opened the door with shaky hands and took a deep breath while walking through the door. The rest of the ground was already in there sat on a circle and when he walked all eyes were on him. 

-Hi. - Will greeted them all, but his eyes still looked down. 

-Nice, I think everyone arrived. - A man that could not be over his 40s was sitting right in the middle of the circle. - My name is Alex and today we will start to analyze and try to get over that you all been through. Who wants to start?

Everyone looked at each other and Will couldn't help but remember when he was in High School and the teacher had just asked a question no one knew the answer to. 

-Ok. Let's try again. - Alex tried one more time, this time his eyes were looking right into them. - Dr. Manning, how was your break? 

Will took his eyes off the floor and looked at Natalie, he did not know that she had taken a vacation. 

-It was good. I think. - Natalie answered with a small voice. - I took my son, Owen, with me and he had a good time. Took our mind away from things. 

\- That's good. - Alex said. - You were one of the people who came back. You were safe outside already but came back once you knew that Dr. Halstead had been shot. Is that right? 

This time, Will looked right into Natalie's eyes, mouth open and he couldn't hide his surprise. 

-Me and Dr. Halstead had a relationship, not long ago. I consider him a good friend of mine. When I heard he was hurt, I came back to try and help him. 

-It's really good to know you care. - Alex nodded. - Dr. Halstead, how does that make you feel? 

Will was surprised by that, honestly, he did not want to talk about what had happened and was playing his cards well to everyone around him for a long time, but he did not know he could do it any longer. Breaking down in front of all his friends was the worst thing that could happen to him. 

-Hm...- Will adjusted himself on the chair. - Good. It's good to know that I have friends that would come back running to help me. 

-Have you thought of the implications of it? 

-Excuse me? I-I didn't understand.

-Well, on the police report, Detective Halstead, your brother, said that he received a text from you, telling him that you would go find the offender and that you loved him. - 

Will tried to remember when he had written this text, but nothing came. Jay had told him that the shooter was an ex-patient family member and Will could swear he knew the man, but nothing came into mind. Why would he let Jay know that he would find the man? It was not unlike him to run into danger to help others, maybe that's what had happened. 

Alex had asked him a question but he did not pay any attention to it.

-I'm sorry? - Will asked in the hope he would repeat it. 

-I asked you: if you knew you would be shot and then your friends would come back and help you, would you still do it? 

Will looked at the floor. "I would jump in front of a bullet for you." He remembered how it was a common phrase used by expressing love so real, so strong that the person would die for the other. Will did not remember ever saying to anyone, but he did have a small list of people he would die for. But apparently, this list was longer. 

-I don't know. - Was all the answer he could give. It was an honest answer, he didn't know what had happened, but if he ever had been in this situation again, he wouldn't know what to do. 

Alex kept asking the others questions, making them talk and pushing into lines of tread until he would get a feeling, a memory, a trauma out. But Will could not focus on that right now. His mind was trying to connect the dots on what had happened on that day. 

An hour passed in a blink of an eye. 

-Will, it's over. - Natalie's voice came into his ears, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

Alex was behind her, looking right into his eyes. 

-Thank you, Nat. 

Will walked past her and made his way toward Alex. 

-Hi, can I talk to you? - Will said and looked back at Natalie that was still in the room. - In private. 

-I thought you might need it. - Alex nodded and motion him to follow him out of the room and into a way smaller room. 

Will sat down on a chair while Alex sat in front of him. 

-Will, from all the survivors, you are the one that I'm worried about. 

-I... - Will tried to put his thoughts into place. - I don't remember much about what happened. I only remember getting shot. 

Alex looked down and ran his hand through his face. 

-Will, what do you know about Clarke Smith? 

\- I told you. I know he was an ex-patient family member, at least that's what Jay told me. 

-Ok. - Alex's tone now was all more serious than before. - I need you to be strong and to brace yourself. 

\- What? - Confusion rushed through Will's mind. 

\- Will, Clarke Smith was Angela Pearson's boyfriend. - The name sends shivers down Will's spine. He knew Angela, he had treated her. -He was there to kill one person. You. 


End file.
